About exploding geese ...

It started with a chat with my daughter. All things in life start with a chat with my daughter. The bank robbery (“Dad, I need more money”), the Indian tiger hunt (“Dad, I want a bigger cat”), World War II (“Dad, my foreign boyfriend cheated on me”), …


I was working really really hard that day, telling others what to do (that makes me a manager, right) when I saw her coming online. I right clicked on her (well, on her name, I don’t right click on my daughters in real life, not even on my son) and started chatting with her.

Renaat : “Hello Flo, how are you ? Did you sleep well ? What’s the plan for today ?”

Flo : “Hi”

Renaat : “Ok my love, don’t ‘hi’ me, I’m really interested in your day.”

Flo : “Ok ok, oldie, there you go : I’m fine, I slept well and I’m gonna play with my bro and sis and give the geese a bath.”

Renaat : “Haha yeah, their butts are very dirty, aren’t they ?”

Flo : *giggles* “My bro’s & sis’ ? Oh, you mean the geese. Yeah, they shit a lot. If you put all the shit on one line, it reaches Brussels for sure.”

Renaat : “Yeah, it’s very dirty in that part of the garden. We should find a solution. Why don’t you stick a cork in their butt ? It will prevent them from shitting ad random.”

Flo : “Hmm, great idea dad, will do that … But I haven’t got any cork for the moment.”

That night I went really really drunk but I delivered 3 corks to stick into the butts of our geese. The trick worked. They didn’t shit anymore so our garden was rather clean.

We also noticed they went fatter very fast. Hmm, that was nice. Perhaps I should sell my invention to the food industry.

But one day all went wrong. We were having dinner when suddenly there was this big ‘KABOOM’ in the garden. We ran outside and discovered a huge inferno. Everything was covered in goose shit. Oh my, it smelled really yuk ! The grass was brown, the trees were brown, the tire swing was brown and in the middle of this, there was the dead body of an exploded goose. But wait a minute, didn’t we have 3 geese ?

Suddenly I saw 2 approaching fat geese.

I yelled “Duuuuuuuuuuuuck” and my children started to laugh. “Dad, they’re not ducks, they’re geese.” I pulled everybody inside the house, just in time because the next moment there were 2 more ‘KABOOMS’. OH MY GOSH ! Now the whole town was covered in shit. Satellite pictures showed this :

It took months and months and a lot of money to clean up everything. But now I’m making money out of it. I sold my invention to a foreign army. They’re making some new kind of bomb out of it … shitty bomb. It doesn’t kill, so it’s a rather clean way of making war …