About the house ...

A beautiful Sunday morning, croissants for breakfast, the newspaper on my lap, coffee with milk and sugar … life’s perfect ! I look at the kids and smile, 3 happy faces smile back. Then I look at my wife and she looks at me in a strange way. Oh no, this is not happening …

She opens her mouth : “Ren, the house is dirty.” Phewwww, that wasn’t that bad. I was shivering about phrases like “Ren, I totaled your new Porsche” or “Ren, I want to change gender” or even “Ren, I’m leaving you for your best friend (hmm, wouldn’t be that bad because my best friend is a gorgeous girl)”. Noooooooo, the house is dirty …

I stroke her hair and whisper in her left ear : “Oh sweetie, the house isn’t that dirty, there’s some dust on the lamps, true, there’s some mud marks on the floor and yes-i-know-i-know, there’s still the corpus of the dead cow that fell of the stairs some weeks ago but I’ll clean that up soonish.”

“Ren, you don’t get it … the house is dirty … I want a new one.”

Okay. Sometimes things change in life. You’re living your life happily, you go with the flow and then life decides to change direction.

Big deal. The woman wants a new house, let’s see what I can do. First things first, where are my tools ? I put on the lights in the garage and start looking around. What’s this ? Hmm, my asphalt plant, don’t need that now. And this ? My zoo ! Damn, forgot to feed the crocodiles the last 4 years. I push the airport aside, step over the lawn mower en there it is : my excavator ! Ha !

Goodbye house. We had good times (2 kids were born here, the 3th one, hmm, let me get back on that), we had bad times (I used to puke haiku’s on the carpet when I was drunk). You’re going down, baby ! *strokes wall, licks lips and starts the engine* (yeah yeah, emoting again, I’ve been on Second Life for far too long).

This happened 2 weeks ago. We’re living in hob units now which makes me a hobbit. The house is gone. I’m homeless, so is the family. We’re staring at the pile of bricks, waiting for some phoenix to rise from it’s ashes (although we’d prefer a house, we already have 2 cats).

Things change in life and there’s nothing we can do about it (well actually we can but that’s stuff for my new age blog and I have to go now because my wife demands sex and I don’t want to lose her to my best friend so better join them now).