About meeting an alien ...

I’m evil. I’m plain evil. My breath smells and I probably have weapons of mass destruction in my garage. Nuff said !


That night I was being interviewed by Vogue. The interviewer was a gorgeous lady, black hair, black eyes, beauty spot under her nose and very yummy lips. I can’t remember why I was being interviewed by Vogue, I was rather drunk and stuff.

Then this alien entered the place. I looked over my shoulder, saw the strange creature and greeted him : “Zwop !”

The alien was surprised. He looked at me, smiled and returned my greeting :”Zwop !”

I ordered some more drinks, for the gorgeous interviewer, the alien and me.

“Zwop !” said the alien, “zwop zwop zwop, zwop zwop !”.

Haha, joker. I returned with “zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop zwop. Zwop zwop zwop. Zwop zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop zwop zwop.”

“Zwop zwop zwop, zwop zwop ?” did he ask me.

“Zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop zwop.” Hmm, perhaps this answer wasn’t that polite, but hey, I was drunk.

The alien turned all purple with yellow spots and a green line on his face, scratched behind his ear (the 4th from the left) and answered “Zwop zwop zwop zwop. Zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop.”

Ok. I know. I can be such a *** sometimes. I looked at him with my strange look on my face and continued “zwop zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop zwop !! Zwop zwop, zwop zwop zwop zwop !!”

This time I had gone too far. There was this blue steam coming out of his 44 ears and he started to yell “Zwop !” all the time. I laughed at him to stimulate his anger. Then he wanted to fight with me. He opened his Prada handbag, got some chess board and arranged the pieces. Haha, I played Ruy Lopez opening and beat him in no time.

Well done, Ren. The poor alien went out of his mind and crawled outside to go back to his space ship. I ordered another beer (the interviewer had left my life) and followed him. OMG, he had a parking ticket ! His space ship was parked in front of the fire exit. I was rolling on the floor laughing. He shaked his 17 fists at me then boarded his ship. He flew away. I’ve never seen him back.

People and aliens come and go in my life. It’s a sad thing and there’s nothing I can do about it. I guess it’s me. But I try to keep the good memories. Like the parking ticket … priceless !!