About my London ...

I love London. Did you know I love London ? Well, before I said it of course. And I guess you didn’t know it before I said it (well, wrote it … damn). Because it was a secret. Only a few people knew I love London. And there was this omertà. No one was allowed to talk about it.

I love London more than any other city. I love London 65% more than Brussels for example, 45% more than Manilla, 25% more than Paris, 15% more than Bombay (never been there though so it’s a rough guess) and 5% more than Maastricht (phewww, that was a close one, ok ok, I also love Maastricht but it’s too late to start over again now).

I love London. I would love to kiss London and give it a big hug. Then I would take London out for dinner and we would have scampi’s and lots of wine, we would get drunk and perhaps make love (let me think about that).

The thing is, I have to take the Eurostar in Brussels to go to London. And the trip takes like 3 hours. That’s too long. I’m a busy manager in real life and can’t afford to lose like 6 hours to see my love.

So I decided to have my own London in my garden. Time is money, you know. No 6 hours travelling anymore, just step outside my back door and walk straight into London. I called some architects to arrange things for me.

Things are going very well. I already have a Westminster in my garden (including the university), the Big Ben is almost finished (needs some painting in the corners though) and real tourists are already invading my land. If they’re nice, we invite them to have some tea and fries with mayo with us. The only problem for the moment is the Thames. The thing is, most of the Thames is situated under water and my architects didn’t count on that. Ah well, you always forget things in such a project.

But the biggest problem is synchronicity. My people are building an exact replica but in the meantime new houses and buildings are being constructed in London. So it will never be exactly the same. Therefore I asked the people of London to wait for my London to be finished before starting new projects.

I’m all excited and I can’t wait till my London is ready. Although my wife isn’t that happy. The builders ruined her shrubbery by constructing the Gherkin on that spot. Ah well *shrugs shoulders*